Dating special needs kids
In other words, I try not to treat my kids like my clients!The problem, however, is that my six-year old son has pronounced special emotional needs and the roller-coaster ride that is each day at home practically begs for a psychological intervention.When my social worker told me that she'd found a little boy they thought would be a good fit for my family, the social worker didn’t describe my son accurately.We were told that he had no behavioral problems or significant mental health symptoms.Quickly we began to see that my son had almost no ability to self-regulate; he experienced major mood shifts with extreme anger outbursts; and he got in trouble frequently at school due to his provoking other students and his inability to focus. Part one of this article will break down the negative effects, and part two will highlight the positives. Parents of SN kids will inevitably resent their child at some point.(Of course, if any of us went through the same things he did, we’d probably have those problems, too.) Nothing could have prepared me for the anger my son carried. All parents will have an occasional bad day and question why they had kids in the first place.
I was a fool to think that being a shrink would make my experience parenting any easier or better informed than any other parent.
See, parents’ chief motivation is to teach the growing child how to one day care for himself or herself on her own.
Accordingly, parents invest thousands of hours in teaching children everything from how to hold a pencil correctly to how to think about others’ feelings. Parents need positive reinforcement to keep chugging along, but they don’t get the reinforcement they need if the child doesn’t learn the lessons. The moods of the parents of SN kids suffer in a major way because the daily home environment is so demanding.
On the other hand, it can be extremely draining to meet emotional needs which—I’ll be honest—often feel bottomless.
What’s more, many times when I go out of my way to please him or meet a need, he ends up angry or tearful, and I seem to fail him.
Among the research that does exist, it is often diagnosis-specific.