Dating parents autistic children
It was difficult to be around a bunch of people, and in asking if we could go to a different (quieter) restaurant, or turn off certain noises, or not give Grandma a kiss and a hug all the time, I wasn’t trying to be rude. My parents often told me I needed to learn to ‘get over it,’ and if I didn’t I’d never be able to function in life, college, on the job, with a boyfriend, etc. I wish I could have grown up in an environment where I wasn’t constantly treated like I was broken. Do not do to your autistic child what you would not do to a typically developing child. In addition, the huge amount of energy it takes to behave in the ‘social butterfly’ mode is often ignored or overlooked. It is no accident that autistic girls are more often labeled with depression or eating disorders than with their real neurodivergent natures. Your autistic child at three is not your autistic child at nine. Do not write the story of your child’s life before they even enter kindergarten. Doing it with a friend or two who truly understands and likes you for who you are make it — if not easier — at least less painful.
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I want you to know that there is no shortage of wonder and rewarding experiences in the world, even if her life doesn’t resemble the one you might’ve anticipated for her. They can lead to depression, as I sometimes feel isolated in a room full of people who all seem to be speaking in a foreign code. The greatest thing a parent of a girl on the spectrum can do is to support her. If you want to learn about autism and what it is like to live an autistic life, no one else will be able to help you understand like we can. But I think it is so important that these girls are given opportunities to build relationships with other autistic girls.
Let her know how amazing she is and how much you believe in her. Most parents do love their children, but it is important to let them know verbally, because we don’t always pick up on nonverbal cues.” – “Girls on the spectrum are even more likely to be pushed socially than their brothers, if they are even identified. There is so much that autistic women and girls can give to each other. Navigating the complicated social rules of girls and women is so very difficult.
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