Dating a girl who cheated on her ex
When I found this out I had no hate, no anger and no resentment toward him after our breakup.
I've had the best year of my life since not being in a relationship with him, and being single was exactly what I needed after such a tumultuous time.
At least that way they would have both been honest with me, and most importantly, to each other.
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He had been on holiday with her, met her parents, lived with her during the week and came back to me on weekends. You're probably reading this thinking, "Surely you would know? I felt stupid when it came to light, and of course I would have hoped I could identify when my boyfriend of four years was lying to my face. There was one time I spoke to him and complained it had been two months since I'd seen him. She was excited about a new relationship and he had met her friends and family. She of course wouldn't put up with a man doing that to her, so she told me she was through with him.
He pulled the "work" card; he would tell me his job is very busy and he would be away a lot, and if I wanted to be with him, I would have to put up with his job coming first. Because that's what you do; you trust someone until he or she breaks it. We spoke for hours on end, comparing diaries and matching up the lies. When he didn't come home for two months on weekends like he usually would, it was because he was actually away for half of it, then chose to spend the other half on holiday with her. She even said she would understand if I wanted to give things another go with him because we were together first. Her and I kept in contact and became a sort of support for each other over the next few months.
As a person who has unfortunately also cheated, you have to go into the relationship realizing that there are trust issues that need to be worked through.
It will take a long time, but if it's actually someone you want to see yourself with in (insert space of time here), then working on communication should be an important first step.