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As these women rise into the middle class, the men stay in the lower class, becoming less compatible.Many black women respond by “marrying down, but not out,” as Mr Banks puts it. Two out of every three black marriages fail, about twice the rate of white marriages.And when he admitted that I’d be the first non-white woman to meet them, I almost jumped off the train.I was also nervous about introducing him to my Somali-Yemeni family.As one man told Mr Banks: “If you have four quality women you're dating and they're in a rotation, who's going to rush into a marriage?” Even black men who nominally commit to one woman are five times as likely as their white counterparts to have others on the side.As a group, black men have also fallen behind in education and income, just as black women have surged ahead.
They often stay unmarried for the opposite reason: they have too many options.
This is ironic, because black men are statistically very open to marrying outside their race—more than one in five does.
But fewer than one in ten black women intermarries.
In fact, when I first set out to meet his white, British family, I asked if he had told them I was black.
His reply—”no, I don’t think they’d care”—filled me with dread.
After all, the alternative is often no marriage or relationship at all. This crisis in the black “relationship market”, as Mr Banks calls it, starts with a “man shortage”.