Black british women dating
I’ve lost count on the amount of dates I went on, which ranged from men who have a clear fetish for women of colour (to be honest I am not comfortable dating men who only date one race and exclude others) to those who were seemingly grounded and cultured.Nothing developed in any of the dates I went on, as it was never clear what the men actually wanted and I doubt I’ll be trying internet dating again.He added that his White friends would not rule out dating us, but that he warned them they would have trouble handling a Black woman.Having Black men reinforce these stereotypes makes dating harder for us. A conversation I had with my friend Ally last week summarises the confusion among my girlfriends: ‘‘I want a man I connect with on every level, and I don’t care about their colour, but I’m just having no luck, I feel like I’ve been single forever!Going through my contacts on Facebook reminds me that my girlfriends of colour have all been single significantly longer than my White female friends, who are often in and out of dating and relationships. Some may argue that our standards our ‘too high’, but would anyone say this to an educated White woman who only wanted to date White men?On a few occasions I’ve tried speed dating and singles nights with my White girlfriends, and not only have I been the only women of colour there, I’ve felt distinctly ignored by the men there, even though my friends commented on my exuberance throughout the evenings.
After realising that White men probably won’t walk up to me in the street and ask for a date, I tried internet dating on and off for a couple of years, and admittedly over 90% of the emails I received were from White men.The majority of women I know are now trying the internet, and some have made lasting relationships, although many echo the experiences I’ve had.The perception of the UK as a multicultural hub is true, but this is reflected poorly in the media in terms of the representation of Black women.There will always be women who will wait for a Black man.Jem adds that she doesn’t want to have to explain to a White man why she wraps her head at night, and her friend told her, after recently becoming single that she wanted to give her parents a Black grandchild as her two brothers have mixed race children.
I believe that plenty of Black women here have accepted this now, and would rather expand our options, but we’ve had similar experiences to Ally when we try this, which leaves us confused about how we are perceived by men in general.